Tag Archives: truth

Thoughts on {Extroverts and Introverts}

I’ve read a few articles recently about this introvert/extrovert, let’s say, debate. Most articles from the introvert’s perspective, or a “how to” when interacting with a self-proclaimed introvert. But loudly, as extroverts usually do, the responses and rebuttals are quickly making an appearance in social media.

So, why not weigh in, here are a few of my thoughts on this topic.

On the continuum of painfully shy, timid, unable to converse with people to the loud, obnoxious, talk to anyone, I would put myself quite firmly on the extrovert side. I realize this is both a personality trait, and a personal choice.

I do realize that introvert is not synonymous with quiet or shy. Nor should extrovert have the same definition as loud or obnoxious.

There is a certain disdain towards extroverts’ communication styles, with words such as shallow, pithy, empty, meaningless often thrown in as the key adjectives. This may or may not be true for some extroverts, but can I just point out one minor thing? How do you get to know someone without talking? I can hear it already, “Small talk isn’t communication.” False. (insert Dwight’s face) You learn something from every conversation, well you can learn something from every conversation. It just depends if you’re looking. Discussing the seemingly “small things of life” can show priorities, goals, values, as well as provide insight into the person’s way of thinking. Discussing my junior high girls’ favorite pop group or movie can give huge understanding to a group’s dynamics or priorities. You just have to be alert during these “meaningless” conversations to grasp the real meat of the discussion.

Extroverts are often labeled as conversational hogs or attention seekers. But, pause for a moment, someone has to start the conversation. Starting a conversation, even with seemingly “meaningless” topics, is important to relationships. It shows interest, it allows others to give opinions, thoughts on the topic. You don’t normally just jump into a deep conversation with a random person. But how does asking, “Where did you get that scarf” open a conversation? Leads to discussion of places to shop, deals found, favorite items, colors, etc. Bits and pieces of information used to keep the conversation going. Now can you have a friendship with someone and not know their favorite color? Of course. Taking the time to learn about people, to know information, to many, this may seem inconsequential. But I would argue this, spending the time to learn about someone else,  that shows interest, and gives value to that person beyond just a face in the crowd.

I love my generation’s attempt to label everything, but always attempting to be different, unique. We’re programmed with this need to stand out from the crowd.  But in this desperate need to be someone or make something of ourselves, we have lost what it means to be a friend. We network, we use people, we learn what we need to know to get by. Be different, learn someone’s favorite color, ask about the small things in life, not just the obvious or surface”y” topics. Obviously this goes both for introverts, as well as extroverts. But sometimes an extrovert feels rejected or hurt when an introvert does not express any interest in learning about them. Sharing is a natural thing for an extrovert, so introverts can be perceived as rude if this same interest is not returned.

Extroverts may not open up easily. Yes, I hear your thoughts “they’re actually WAY to open” but pause again. Self-proclaimed extrovert moment, we use shallow topics to build up friendships to slowly open up on other more meaningful topics.

Bear in mind, I am speaking in generalities. Don’t be offended, these are just observations and personal feelings.

Introverts claim the corner on self-reflective thought and soul searching. I disagree. As an extrovert, I am often reflecting on my behaviors, words, actions. But some difference may occur in that as I reflect on all that is me, I am also analyzing how this interacts with others. How does it make them feel? Am I coming across rude because I don’t start a conversation? Am I coming across shallow because I compliment their outfit? The pressure to entertain, amuse, keep the conversation going is something an extrovert knows well.

I’ll review a conversation multiple times in my head to see where it went wrong, or when the “I’m overwhelmed” face appeared. I would bet that many self-proclaimed extroverts also have these same experiences.

Of course we are human, and all very selfish in our interactions. Selfishness can be seen all across this spectrum. So learn about people different from you, have the pithy conversations, engage in the deep discussions, remember, this life is not all about you.

So these are a few of a self-proclaimed extrovert’s thoughts. Take them as you will. I’m interested to know your thoughts on this topic.

 

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{Stories}

We’re sitting across from each other, cradling a Kurtz Orchard coffee mug, looking out across the lake. The weak winter sun struggling to warm the ice.

“I just want to tell you my stories”

I shift, trying to get uncomfortable, a hopeless task on these wooden dining room chairs.

“Life is just a moment, when you look at it with the big picture” Grandma pauses, starts to spell out on the table in front of her. “S. T. O…” “Stories?” “Yes, stories. They are important–they just keep coming back to me. Stories about my lover”

This name, Lover, not a name I am accustomed to hearing my Grandfather called. But since his passing, she has taken to call him, ‘My Lover’ instead of the familiar ‘Dad’ I had grown up hearing. She misses him. She misses her Lover.

“He would write me every day–no every other day while he was in the Service” *Pause* “But I destroyed those letter–He should never have to relive those memories–the men would be screaming in pain, the throng of wounded being lifted off the airplanes. Everything was g0-go-go all the time. Those things must have affected Dad.”

I nod in agreement, I can only imagine the emotional scars of being a medical tech during war time.

“When he had one week leave to come home, that’s when we decided” “Decided what?” “To be lovers”

She pauses, searching for the right words. “He told me that he was going into the ministry and if I couldn’t handle being a preacher’s wife–well I better tell him now so we could break it off”

She looks at me with an astonished face, an expression she does so well. “What do you think of that?”

“Well I think you made the right choice.”

“Well I certainly hope so” She laughs, fiddles with the coffee mug, lost in her own reflection. She misses him. She misses her “Lover”

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{Attitude}You Decide

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Warning Warning:: Foul Mood Alert

Don’t you wish there were days you could hang this sign up or wear a t-shirt that warned everyone…Stay Away, I’m incredibly cranky & may potentially bite your head off.

But unfortunately….Your attitude is something you decide.

When you get out of bed, you put on the attitude you want for the day.

Cranky ::I can choose to be grateful

Sad ::I can choose to rejoice in the goodness of the Lord

Sensitive ::I can choose to give people the benefit of the doubt

Negative ::I can choose to look at all that I have & be thankful

Worried ::I can choose to trust that the Savior holds my future

Frustrated ::I can choose to walk in the Spirit & allow Him to guide my actions

Whatever the “feelings” of the day are telling me to believe, I know that I have the Ultimate Source for Truth.

I can be confident in my identity in Christ.

My foul attitude is not a death sentence, for bad moods come. My foul attitude is a challenge, a trial, a chance to focus on the Truth & to change it.

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On Truth

This past week I found myself believing and living out lies.

The lie of being a complete failure, the lie of having to be completely self-dependent, the lie of happiness comes from possessions, the lie of a new situation bringing contentment, the lie of my fears defining me.

{I was believing way to many lies}

I couldn’t understand why. I didn’t understand what was missing.

{Truth}

Truth was missing in my life. 

I was believing these lies to the point of living them out because my mind was not focused on the truth of God’s Word {our ultimate source of truth}

The Cure ::Replacement::

Isaiah 40:31: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

John 13:34-35:  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Psalm 136:26: Give thanks to the God of heaven, for his steadfast love endures forever

Philippians 4:6-8:  Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

When Truth is the focus of my life the Lies do not control my mind or actions

It’s not an easy process to replace the lies, but by focusing on the Truth your mind starts to develop a better thinking pattern and that will change your actions.

What lies are you believing today? How can you combat them with Truth?

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Google It

Have you ever just Googled something to see how many results can be found?

Greece About 677,000,000 results

Urban Outfitters About 25,000,000 results

Coffee About 1,030,000,000 results (coffee wins EVERY time!)

 

We live in an age that has so much information that we are able to access. It’s awesome! But does it ever seem to get overwhelming? What can you trust?

I think that’s the biggest issue I have with a lot of the online sources. You can’t trust them.

In nursing school we are taught to know our sources, to make sure they are medically reliable and current. We have to have complete trust in the source because it can ultimately save a life. I read my textbooks knowing that hundreds of people have collaborated and decided that this is the best way of taking care of the patient. When I research something online I know Mayo Clinic & CDC will have reliable and up-to-date information, I also know that MSNBC, while it contains entertaining articles, would not be something I would implement into my daily practice.

With all this information in the world it is so important to filter. Read, read, read! But compare, contrast the information provided, find the common themes, use sources that are reliable, and don’t build your life around ONE article!

I also compare this to Christianity. We have so much available to us. We have wonderful books written by godly men, and some ungodly men. So yes, read!! But do not build your life around one (sinful) man! Know your sources. Compare the words spoken and written by men to the ultimate source of truth, The Bible.

I think in my attempt to gain knowledge about the Bible, I can easily skip over…actually reading the Bible!

~Use the resources that have been provided, always be learning~ But don’t forget to study the ultimate source!

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