Tag Archives: words

Thoughts on {Extroverts and Introverts}

I’ve read a few articles recently about this introvert/extrovert, let’s say, debate. Most articles from the introvert’s perspective, or a “how to” when interacting with a self-proclaimed introvert. But loudly, as extroverts usually do, the responses and rebuttals are quickly making an appearance in social media.

So, why not weigh in, here are a few of my thoughts on this topic.

On the continuum of painfully shy, timid, unable to converse with people to the loud, obnoxious, talk to anyone, I would put myself quite firmly on the extrovert side. I realize this is both a personality trait, and a personal choice.

I do realize that introvert is not synonymous with quiet or shy. Nor should extrovert have the same definition as loud or obnoxious.

There is a certain disdain towards extroverts’ communication styles, with words such as shallow, pithy, empty, meaningless often thrown in as the key adjectives. This may or may not be true for some extroverts, but can I just point out one minor thing? How do you get to know someone without talking? I can hear it already, “Small talk isn’t communication.” False. (insert Dwight’s face) You learn something from every conversation, well you can learn something from every conversation. It just depends if you’re looking. Discussing the seemingly “small things of life” can show priorities, goals, values, as well as provide insight into the person’s way of thinking. Discussing my junior high girls’ favorite pop group or movie can give huge understanding to a group’s dynamics or priorities. You just have to be alert during these “meaningless” conversations to grasp the real meat of the discussion.

Extroverts are often labeled as conversational hogs or attention seekers. But, pause for a moment, someone has to start the conversation. Starting a conversation, even with seemingly “meaningless” topics, is important to relationships. It shows interest, it allows others to give opinions, thoughts on the topic. You don’t normally just jump into a deep conversation with a random person. But how does asking, “Where did you get that scarf” open a conversation? Leads to discussion of places to shop, deals found, favorite items, colors, etc. Bits and pieces of information used to keep the conversation going. Now can you have a friendship with someone and not know their favorite color? Of course. Taking the time to learn about people, to know information, to many, this may seem inconsequential. But I would argue this, spending the time to learn about someone else,  that shows interest, and gives value to that person beyond just a face in the crowd.

I love my generation’s attempt to label everything, but always attempting to be different, unique. We’re programmed with this need to stand out from the crowd.  But in this desperate need to be someone or make something of ourselves, we have lost what it means to be a friend. We network, we use people, we learn what we need to know to get by. Be different, learn someone’s favorite color, ask about the small things in life, not just the obvious or surface”y” topics. Obviously this goes both for introverts, as well as extroverts. But sometimes an extrovert feels rejected or hurt when an introvert does not express any interest in learning about them. Sharing is a natural thing for an extrovert, so introverts can be perceived as rude if this same interest is not returned.

Extroverts may not open up easily. Yes, I hear your thoughts “they’re actually WAY to open” but pause again. Self-proclaimed extrovert moment, we use shallow topics to build up friendships to slowly open up on other more meaningful topics.

Bear in mind, I am speaking in generalities. Don’t be offended, these are just observations and personal feelings.

Introverts claim the corner on self-reflective thought and soul searching. I disagree. As an extrovert, I am often reflecting on my behaviors, words, actions. But some difference may occur in that as I reflect on all that is me, I am also analyzing how this interacts with others. How does it make them feel? Am I coming across rude because I don’t start a conversation? Am I coming across shallow because I compliment their outfit? The pressure to entertain, amuse, keep the conversation going is something an extrovert knows well.

I’ll review a conversation multiple times in my head to see where it went wrong, or when the “I’m overwhelmed” face appeared. I would bet that many self-proclaimed extroverts also have these same experiences.

Of course we are human, and all very selfish in our interactions. Selfishness can be seen all across this spectrum. So learn about people different from you, have the pithy conversations, engage in the deep discussions, remember, this life is not all about you.

So these are a few of a self-proclaimed extrovert’s thoughts. Take them as you will. I’m interested to know your thoughts on this topic.

 

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

You Simply MUST Do

9_Things_Before_You_Die_large

For my class I had to read the book 9 Things You Simply Must Do to Succeed in Love and Life By Dr. Henry Cloud

These are a few of my thoughts and hopefully they will encourage you to take the time to read this fabulous book.

He starts out by defining Deja vu people as “People who found what they were looking for in life” and that these people had specific traits in common. None of these people had the same background, they were from all walks of life, upbringings varied, which encourages us that these things can be learned, we are not stuck. We can learn from these people and become successful.

He then proceeds to give us 9 Principles or word pictures based on the actions of successful people he has met and interacted with.

Since there are several of them that impacted me deeply, I will divide them up so you don’t have a novel to dig through, so to start:

Principle #1

Dig it up: Find your heart’s desire. Find that combination of interest and what lays deeply buried in your heart. So often we become distracted or lose that which makes us “come alive”–I firmly believe that God has given us all talents that must be used, and when we neglect them we lose the purpose for life. Find it, act on it, invest in it, hold on to it, fight for it. Do not ignore your heart, mind, and soul…Do not allow for it to be buried in the busyness of life.

Awesome quote “Those who take what they possess, invest it in life, and are diligent and faithful with it over time, grow and build something good. But those who allow fear to keep them from stepping out, not only fail to increase what they have, they actually lose it” 

I challenge you, search your heart, when you are feeling discontent and frustrated, seek those things you have buried away. We were created for a purpose and we must not neglect to use the talents and skills, passions that were given to us.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

…Waiting, Waiting, Waiting…

waiting is a lonely time

waiting is a trying time

waiting, waiting, waiting

what is there to do?

waiting seems so easy

waiting seems so clear

but why is waiting

o so very hard to bear?

so I sit,

I sit

and wait some more

{plans put on hold

{thoughts stagnant

waiting for what’s next

“be patient” the silence screams

“I can’t” the heart whispers in return

waiting, waiting, waiting,

such is my life right now

this is hard to bear,

but someday I’ll look back,

thankful for this time,

I have much to learn

waiting is a growing time

waiting is a learning time

waiting, waiting, waiting,

 

Tagged , ,

Shush

Do you ever find yourself babbling away? Like you can hear yourself saying ridiculous things but you can’t stop?

…Those moments never end well…

Usually I just need someone to say “shush”

I love this sign~ It is encouraging and thought provoking!

As I read/listen through Proverbs in the morning I am struck by the fact that with every interaction we need wisdom about what to say!

What to say, when to say it, and how to say it require thinking.

Words are so powerful! They hurt, heal, divide, and encourage.

How are you using your words? Are you thinking when you speak?

I find that the more comfortable I am with a person the less I guard my speech. But in all relationships I need to be striving to be Christ-like with my words.

Do I think before I speak? Do I stop when I can hear the ridiculousness pouring out?

shush ~ It’s my new favorite word

 

Tagged , , , ,

Complaining Fail (again)

O my dear readers I must confess something. I wrote a post yesterday that touched on complaining, but I failed just moments after posting…rather epically.

As I was leaving my favorite local coffee shop after a lovely afternoon with my friend, all I could talk about was how cold and gross the weather was, and how I hated the cold, and I couldn’t wait to move somewhere warm.

My friend (who is near and dear to my heart!), laughingly said “I think I should start charging you a quarter for every time you complain, I’d be so rich!”

O dear readers you have no idea how that comment went right to my heart.

Why is it so easy to complain? Even when I purpose to be content I still find things to complain about. Why is my flesh so strong?

Complaining does not edify. Complaining does not encourage. Complaining demonstrates a lack of trust in God’s plan for my life.

~From Heart to Words~ 

The words of my mouth

The thoughts of my heart

Shockingly close

You can’t hide

You can’t deceive

You will pay

For what you say

 

Then why complain?

 

The heart is discontent

The soul is lost

 

Focus on the Lord

Be thankful

The thoughts will follow

The lead of the heart

 

Lord control my mouth

Lord, lead my heart

Tagged , , ,